YOU ARE HERE

Where do you find yourself in life? As Diana Ross sings in a classic song of hers: “Do you know where you’re going to? Do you like the way that life is treating you?” It’s often during the holidays that we grant ourselves time for the most self-reflection out of any time of the year. I am reminded of a certain analogy. Whether it’s been at a mall or perhaps at an amusement park, most of us have gone to a large venue with a goal in the mind and gauged how to get there by getting a map of the layout or going where one is displayed. As much as we wished we could be teleported through the maze of walkways, stairs, or levels, we all have to begin by looking at the red circle that says “YOU ARE HERE”.

“YOU ARE HERE” shows us where we are, so we can best map out how to get to our goal or destination. Often, we end up finding other places along the way that want to stop by, which we didn’t realize were there until we looked at the map. We also figure out shortcuts, unnecessary distractions to avoid that day, and obstacles to keep us from wasting time and energy. For example, with most malls, depending on where you enter from, you’re starting point will be different depending on where you enter in from. That’s important to remember if you want to go to Macy’s and it is at the other end of the mall from where you are entering. You would want to park and enter from a closer entrance unless you wanted to take the scenic route that day.

I’m thinking about my starting point as the new year rolls around. What about you? Where is your “YOU ARE HERE” sign pointing to on your life journey map? Where are you starting from emotionally, mentally, financially, and health-wise? I think sometimes we just go around carrying on “as is” stuffing the fact that situations have changed for ourselves because of habits and comfort zones. We do an injustice to ourselves and whatever we are trying to accomplish if we aren’t taking an honest evaluation of ourselves. We could be burning ourselves out from not dealing with the emotional baggage and extra work just as much as living too small because we’ve outgrown certain situations. Old habits truly do die hard

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I remember when I suffered through years of an undiagnosed medical issue that kept me from feeling limited in social situations and on the job confidence. Decades of feeling there was something wrong with me that even real doctors hadn’t gotten fully right. So, my ‘YOU ARE HERE” sign was stuck in a place where my career path was at about Grade Level D. I survived as best I could. Then zoom up to my late 40s, I received the right diagnosis in 2 minutes flat from a doctor I was seeing for something totally different! I started the right medication and my signpost changed to a career path Grade Level B. I was no longer on the bottom floor. You better believe it took some risk walking to a higher level after decades of dysfunction despite the new medication. However, I took the evaluation of how my “YOU ARE HERE” signpost had moved with this new med and felt it was worth trying again.

Then, Covid came around, job situations changed and I got a job that allowed to me work from home, my dream situation of even lower stress of no work commutes, paper jams, congested hallways, getting sick multiple times a year from the school children, etc. So, you just don’t know what God will bring, and my “YOU ARE HERE” changed again to my dream job.

Nevertheless, in other areas, things are at different starting points. While much of my inner life is a joy and maturity (top-floor stuff), I’ve lost a lot of family over the years. The older you get, that happens. Covid didn’t help, and political discourse didn’t help. Growing up on the top floor of so much family you wanted to pull your hair during the holidays, to now sitting on the couch holding your mother’s hand because it is now just you and her on Christmas Eve is an eye-opening reality. Bullying and betrayals of so-called “friends” and the harshness of the gay community along with the immaturity of much of the church community (2 places I longed to find a home in), which once started full, are now vastly empty spaces sprinkled with loving people here and there and has left me with scars I wish would be replaced with more loving people. That hasn’t happened so well. I am learning to love myself and who to really trust. So for those spaces, my “YOU ARE HERE” signs are in the basement, where no one looks because it is too damp and dark–places where I didn’t look either when I was young and full too.

We have to minister to those spaces, those parts of ourselves with compassion and tenderness. In other areas, we may need a push to say “Hey, you have outgrown this, take a risk!”. Whatever that may be for you, make that honest assessment for yourself and know where you are starting at on your life journey map. I like these wheels of life often used by Life Coaches. I do them once a year to see where I am at. It feels great to know where you are starting and with what for the year. We all know the circle of life but for this year get into the wheel of life! Discover more about yourself and go forward more confidently and clear.