The Attack on The Heart
I was driving from Detroit to the Grand Rapids this weekend to see a group of students I work with virtually, and was doing the primitive nature walk through radio channels. I came across a beautiful song I hadn’t heard in a long time. I could finally sit back, enjoy a song and my tuning fork could finally rest. However, after a number of measures, it was clear that I was getting out of range. Another channel with it’s advertisement was just slightly starting to splash in between the lyrics, but not enough to ruin the song. Regardless, the more I drove down the expressway, the worse the reception got. My heart dropped as the song was becoming fractured but my ears worked doubled time to make out what they could. I was determined to hear every last bit of it. Then, to make matters worse, other channels started coming in splintering the song even further. I could still hear bits and pieces of the song, enough that I could remember how it went. This went on until all the noise and even static took the song completely over, and I was forced to change the channel. The song was quickly a fading memory.
I immediately saw a lesson in this incident. Our sense of spirituality, sense of self, and our core values are being interrupted by constant chatter, by a “flooding of the system” of distractions, bad news, doom scrolling, addicitons etc. We know in our minds and our hearts what we value. We know who we want to be, who are true selves are, who even our new selves are, but it is daily battle of tuning into that voice over the constant other voices that make it hard to hear, hard to remember the song of ourselves we once knew.
Today, I sat in a meditation room I made and did some quiet reflecting and after a while I put in some music of a praise and worship musician from a ministry that fell under scandle. The worship team had nothing to do with that scandal, but it had been years since I listened to their songs because of that and because I stepped away from fundamentalism all together in every way. I still am away from it–every hint of it makes me want to vomit. But I remember the music touching me deeply. When I played it, it touched me deeply again. Despite that I am no longer fundamentalist or no matter what you think of a fundementalist Christian, one thing about it is their whole heart is invested. There is absolutely no way to live like that and truly survive (and who would want to) under an Americanized Fundamentalist God. Nevertheless, as far the heart intent of innocent followers and worship teams, you cannot be a whole hearted intent behind what they are trying to accomplish in worship especially if not other areas. I’ve never found music so profoundly sung with every fiber of a person’s being than Christian praise and worship. And I too remember singing with so much of myself I thought my bones would leap out of my skin at times LOL. I honestly I miss it. I don’t miss the crazy or the very taxing God but I do miss the music and endulge here and there.
Living with your whole heart is something we don’t see much today. You see it readily in people who have been through something traumatic and learned to become better and not bitter. The ego with it’s tall self conscious wall is broken. Your pants have proverbially been pulled down in life, your eyes open and see your life, in some regard, for what it truly is. At the very least, you value things that matter more than the average person who maybe has not had any or lighter trauma.
Even so, society right now is so stressed and so fast paced, it is hard to stay focused and stay in tune with yourself. We will even “busy” ourselves with the latest self help book, but that doesn’t always do it either. Have you ever noticed when you are reading a book or devotional, and then a downward depression hits after you done reading it? What now? I no longer have anything to keep me going? So I start looking for the next thing to keep me fueled up.
That’s partly about 1. Not applying what you learned most likely from the books but also 2. Part of becoming in tune with yourself, connecting with God etc. is spending time in quiet listening, prayer, meditation not reading books. Yes books and devotionals help. I will often kick off that time at the top of the hour with a quick devotional or end it with that, but other times not use any reading all. The point here is it shouldn’t have to be dependant on that. You want to be able to get your inner ears practiced in the art of “tuning” into yourself. You want to practice connecting with yourself, spirit and loving yourself with the help of reading guides but also without.
This can be challenging with diverting thoughts, negative thoughts, or you may drift off to sleep. That’s all okay. When you see it, you just come back to it, even if it is coming back another day because you have done it so many times in one session. You will progress! And even when you walk away, hours later or moments later, you might discover how suddenly in tune you are without realizing it just from having tried.
I often wonder how close the spiritual plane is to us and what it is truly about. Jesus and others say the Kingdom is here, is within–though many of my fellow Christians prefer to talk about as being in the “by and by” or “up there”. I’ve experienced Spirit in a number of ways that has filled my heart. When I look back on it, many times it reminds me as an entity of some kind of energy. I heard a Tik Toker today say when we are tuning into the spirit world we are tuning into another form of energy that is present with us already, and that is why quiet is essential. Other noise and energy will tune it out. That makes sense to me and rings true.
I know I’m getting off on a rabbit trail but I wonder how it is like in that realm? Do we really and truly understand it like our ancient text think? We “canonized” it so like in Star Trek, that “made it so”. But I wonder. It’s interesting to me that we propose that these ancient text were wiser than us or to act as if that is only the time Spirit spoke. I sometimes wonder if in encountering this awesome spirit of energy and this realm of another kingdom, if egos didn’t get inflated during that time and thus our various religions were born. That egos birthed these religions and that God and Spirit in those realms are quite a bit different than what all these religions propose but maybe in other ways close to it. When I hear about near death experiences, it sure sounds different.
Not to be judgy but I will never forget when it began to dawn on me that this whole fundamentalism and ex-gay thing wasn’t really God. I remember a Christian book I was reading saying to look at the fruit of ministries and that if the head pastor reminds you of a cars salesman, and that you can’t imagine sitting down with them and telling them your most heart breaking story and receiving compassion, then you are in an unsafe place. Well, that turned up a lot of bad stones. Look at these popular characters.
Jimmy Swaggert, Brian Houston, Pat Robertson, Joel Osteen and Benny Hinn ran big ministries and some of them still do in one form or another but what is their fruit? Some have fallen to scandal and are still running a ministry another name. Can you imagine sitting down with any of these characters and getting a whole deal of compassion for your biggest secrets or religious platitudes like they spill out on T.V.? I can’t imagine sitting down with them at all. I wouldn’t want to.
Let me counter oppose this group with two local pastors I’ve been with who aren’t fundamentalist, who live whole heartedily, and you can see the energy of compassion and spirit right in the photo.
Pastor Beth Delany of South Minister Taylor
Pastor Roland Stringfellow of MCC Church Ferndale
Now if you had a choice between sitting down during a case of heart ache and having any of the top 5 ministers counsel you or any of the 2 below counsel you, which group would you pick? I would definitely pick the bottom 2. You can see God’s love coming through them and their churches have some fruit even though it might not be a maga church. They aren’t self-grandizing. These two ministers are focused and living whole heartidly. Doesn’t mean they are perfect. They struggle too but they aren’t taking advantage of their congregations, they aren’t living in mansions etc. They live from the heart and are easy to talk to.
Do you know what your heart longing is? Do you know what your core values are and are you living them? Take some time out to tune into yourself at least weekly. Make that your New Years goal. It really is critical in this day and time so you don’t feel fracture and split off from your self.
Philippians 4:6-11 TPT. Don’t be pulled in different directions or worried about a thing. Be saturated in prayer throughout each day, offering your faith-filled requests before God with overflowing gratitude.
Matthew 7:24–27Everyone therefore who hears these words of mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man, who built his house on a rock. The rain came down, the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat on that house; and it didn’t fall, for it was founded on the rock. Everyone who hears these words of mine, and doesn’t do them will be like a foolish man, who built his house on the sand. The rain came down, the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat on that house; and it fell—and great was its fall.
Matthew 22: 36-40
36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”
37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[a] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b] 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
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