Ancient Inspiration About the Long Haul
Matthew 19:23-26 King James Version (KJV)Then said Jesus unto his disciples, Verily I say unto you, That a rich man shall hardly enter into the kingdom of heaven. And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.
If you live in a modernized country, this is a hard pill to swallow. A bit of a slap in the face. But let’s dissect this, shall we? (in my best Church Lady voice). Even if you aren’t Christian, there is something for you here, should you be seeking a spiritual center or enlightenment.
Scholars debate whether this verse refers to an actual gate called an Eye of the Needle that was so small, a camel would have to unload all its possessions (in some cases, crawl through) to get in and out of the gate to the other side. These types of gates, however, were largely only given such a name after 1000A.D. The more widely accepted interpretation is the eye of a sewing needle, which translates better to the differing word choices (like surgical needle, etc.) authors used in the books named after the Apostles. The difference between the two interpretations is that it is either difficult for the rich to enter heaven or it is practically impossible for the rich to enter heaven.
Pick your poison. The road to spiritual self-actualization, transformation, renewing of the mind, and the road to salvation are not easy ones for people with the trappings of wealth. That is the point. I don’t care what you have been shown or told. Breath work, meditation, the 5 steps to Salvation, making you Born Again. It is not a one-and-done thing as far as your transformation goes.
I often compare my own life to a solo traveler riding a comet. Amazing, exciting, but rough, frightful, and you don’t come out unscathed. Not by a long shot. True enlightenment doesn’t come from a life lived like a trip down the yellow brick road. I believe in part because in modern society we have so many trappings that lure us into what “home” is, what our identity is, who our god is, and puts our ego and intellect over everything else. So, this is why I don’t care who you are. If you are seeking “heaven” (a spiritual place) in a modern world where your needs are largely taken care of, it will be like a camel going through the eye of a needle (difficult to near impossible). The blessing of the poor is that they are without the entrapments, and God is near. We, in our modern society, have to work hard to get past entrapments toward enlightenment or further growth.
Let me give you an example of an Ah-ha moment I had just recently at the young age of 55. I was at the gym working out and saw this guy whom I judged, looked pretty incredible. Blonde hair styled perfectly, blue eyes, built muscles in a perfectly crafted tank top. I didn’t want to stare lest my envy become apparent. This isn’t unusual for me to feel good about my body one day or wish I were more like some other guy the next. Comparing is a thief of a joy but easy to get into. It goes for social media, too. The ole’ FOMO. Should I be doing what they are doing? Is my life on track because others seem to be having an amazing time out there, and my life feels pretty bland? Relate? (By the way, the poor won’t have a gym, a fitness coach, or maybe even a cell phone, right?)
The young, muscle-bound guy came up to a workout station I was at, to talk to someone and of course it was hard not to look. But, he wasn’t there long… that was before he returned moments later with an interesting display of energy. It was this “Look at me, I’m Sandra Dee” energy (A Grease Movie reference). Apparently, to do only one set of an exercise(?), he walks up to the station as I am already looking in that direction, resting from exercise. I didn’t get the sense he was there to do an exercise for one set, as to show off to me. We momentarily lock eyes, and as I’m starting to see just how extraordinary his muscle build is this close up, a revelation hits, and I start to look away just as he pulls up his shirt, revealing his abs and chest to wipe sweat off a part of his body where there doesn’t seem to be any. Who walks in your direction with eyes wide open and flashes you their abs? A poser.
There is another guy in our gym that does a “pump cover” every time he comes in. Every single time. A pump cover refers to an oversized shirt worn at the start of a workout—often worn to hide your physique—then dramatically removed once your muscles are pumped and looking their best. It’s like a reveal mid-work every time. Hey look! Surprise, I really look like this! It’s a common thing now in gyms.
The enlightenment that hit me hit me strongly, though, in that moment, when I turned away from The Ab Flash relates to something cliché we hear over and over again. True beauty is on the inside of a person. The outside is easier to do. I don’t say this lightly. I’ve been working out since my 20s, but if I had to compare the work I have had to do on the inside to save my soul vs. the outside to get near a body I want, the inside has been the walk of the camel through an eye of a needle.
I remember a minister once saying that if you look at your pastor or any person in the care field and don’t feel you can sit down with them and they will listen to you with a compassionate, caring heart, then that isn’t a leader you should trust. This has saved me many a time since. We have so many “beautified,” “entertaining,” “fun” people drawing us to so many shallow places for identity and hope for connection. You may find some of that, but rarely. I don’t want to know you first through your body alone. You can use make-up, fillers, work out all you want. I do that to keep myself healthy, but I want to know the soul of a person. It seems we have become so usary and more addicted to admiration, whether it’s likes or emojis, than the rewards of becoming whole people through a spiritual path. Because it is hard work. You have to really want it. Jesus wasn’t joking when he said that if you want heaven, it isn’t easy to find.
In other parables (mythical stories), he talks about people giving up a lot to find that one gem, that one treasure (meaning, this spiritual realm or God). It’s an adventure, a hunt, that requires you to drop a lot of what others may attach themselves to or do. I mean, I will be honest, the practice of being still or quiet in such a loud world of instant gratification feels like a big waste of time until you have done and have reaped the reward. And even then, you can get away from it very easily.
There are so many people in my social media feeds where it is like “look at me” and “look at us” and what we are doing. But I ask myself one question when I feel the FOMO. Do these people look like the caring, compassionate people I would want to be with? That I could trust to be myself with? 98% of the time, on social media, the answer is a resounding no.
So what? Who Cares? For me, as a gay man especially, to turn away from a man this good-looking and to see the reality that 1. I don’t know him 2. He doesn’t look like someone carrying compassionate friend energy, so I don’t need him 3. I have probably done more work on the inside of me than more people in this gym have on the outside of themselves. These are huge steps in my enlightenment. Because though I’ve given lip service to beauty being on the inside and worshipped the idea, I’ve never been struck like this in such a profound way. It’s taken me only 55 years to get here.
This is a small example because I’ve been through anxiety, panic attacks, depression, bullying, narcissism, and all sorts of things I’ve worked through. Some of my own doing, some not. It all began when I asked God to save me for the 3rd time (LOL! Of course, unnecessary but I had a hard time believing God accepted me) and I said be sure work me over good because I’m a tricky one. Make sure my transformation sticks. I would almost say I regret that prayer except that I have had many views on the other side of that needle. I have had enlightenments of many kinds. I’ve tasted God, and God is good. So, I can say it is worth it. I know not everyone feels the same or believes the same. We all have our paths. But I am fortunate that this vessel of clay has broken down a few times and encountered spirit and gurus along the way.
If you ever want to discuss paths, I love to talk about this kind of topic and may be able to offer some insight. Just reach out!
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